ADHD: The 4 Letters That Set Me Free

Kids do not come with instruction manuals. Even with a Master’s Degree in Secondary Education, my friend Kris could not figure out why her children seemed so out of control. As so many of us do, she blamed herself. Others who should have known better agreed with her. Parenting was to blame. Or not. Her journey might offer answers you’ve been looking for as parents of young children. This one’s for you…

88211432F106The psychiatrist said, “You can’t parent ADHD out of a child,” and I wept.

Why? Because this one fact re-wrote my entire history as a parent: It’s brain chemistry. No behavior management skill can undo ADHD.

He released me from all the condemnation, both from myself and others.

It wasn’t my fault.

As I now journey backwards through various moments in parenting, I can see myself and my boys with new eyes. Come with me.

*                                  *                                  *

My natural tendency is to blame myself first. It doesn’t take much to make me confirm my self-blame at the heart level. A comment by somebody who I respect. A dirty look from a stranger. Even without knowing it, I’m looking for somebody to say, “Yes, you’re to blame,” and that sticks for a long time.

*                                  *                                  *

I knew I was going to be an amazing parent. So much so…

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One thought on “ADHD: The 4 Letters That Set Me Free

  1. Thank you for sharing this. It’s been almost a year since I wrote it. I’ve come a long way in undoing those high strung parenting behaviors, and our household’s new normal is far more peaceful than before. We still have to re-invent parenting through new developmental phases, but we have a team to help and we have prayer and resources. Each son is reading and doing math at the top levels of their grades and has had some great seasons of sports. I thank God for how far we’ve come in this journey. I hope this post continues to help those whose journey to diagnosis is in the early stages.


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