Kids do not come with instruction manuals. Even with a Master’s Degree in Secondary Education, my friend Kris could not figure out why her children seemed so out of control. As so many of us do, she blamed herself. Others who should have known better agreed with her. Parenting was to blame. Or not. Her journey might offer answers you’ve been looking for as parents of young children. This one’s for you…
The psychiatrist said, “You can’t parent ADHD out of a child,” and I wept.
Why? Because this one fact re-wrote my entire history as a parent: It’s brain chemistry. No behavior management skill can undo ADHD.
He released me from all the condemnation, both from myself and others.
It wasn’t my fault.
As I now journey backwards through various moments in parenting, I can see myself and my boys with new eyes. Come with me.
* * *
My natural tendency is to blame myself first. It doesn’t take much to make me confirm my self-blame at the heart level. A comment by somebody who I respect. A dirty look from a stranger. Even without knowing it, I’m looking for somebody to say, “Yes, you’re to blame,” and that sticks for a long time.
* * *
I knew I was going to be an amazing parent. So much so…
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